깨달음을 강렬하게 체험한 어떤 레딧 유저의 댓글; 그런데 "우주와 내가 하나"라는 것을 확실히 체험했다기에는 프로필 들어가보니 댓글로 키배나 벌이는 병쉰 색휘 같기도 하고... 깨달은거 맞아?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AlanWatts/comments/ta4qj0/watts_probably_suicided_based_on_mark_watts/
I experienced enlightenment or a spiritual awakening or however you want to describe it around 18 months ago and I can honestly say if I knew I was going to die a slow and painful death with my loved ones watching me fade away I would take my own life too. I am aware now that 'I' do not exist. I am just a window of perception for the larger force that drives the universe. I cannot really die. I just wouldn't be able to communicate or perceive the universe through this focal point anymore. But I wouldn't be going anywhere. I'd still be the universe as the universe is me.
I found Alan Watts lectures after my awakening as I tried to find someone who was discussing what had happened to me so I could understand it better. He described my experiences and changes in perception so well and eloquently that I have listened to everything I can of his.
I know people might be skeptical of others claiming to have had an awakening or enlightenment but it is something I experienced. I can only describe it as being in a heightened state of consciousness, similar to being on LSD. I was in this state for over two weeks and only exited it when I decided to because I knew I had to work and support my family and I had real world issues that had to be taken care of. But in that period the clarity of my existence was immense and the impact was profound. I can honestly say that I can face death without any fear now and in a similar situation I would choose to go out on my own terms.
How did this spiritual awakening come about?
Listening to this one tonight and Alan discusses the scale of perception I spoke about in the previous reply. He starts talking about how everything is part of a whole as long as you change the scale. It starts a few minutes in around 5:30. But again, his words explain the realisations I experienced. Around 7:25 he talks about how "some human beings have slipped into the state of consciousness" where they gain this insight. I would consider myself one of these people
It's a long story I guess, but at the time I was trying to get out of my old job and teaching myself how to trade the stock market. I was trying to find a pattern that could be applied to find what are called liquidity pools. They're areas where large players in the market enter with the least amount of risk and where the largest volume buys and sells happen allowing large transactions without moving price too much. After a lot of experimenting I found a pattern that was incredibly accurate at identifying where these turns would take place. In doing so I realised that stock market analysis can be done backwards through time; standard technical analysis works by plotting trend lines forward in time using 2 or 3 points and drawing lines into the future. But I realised that you can work time backwards on the markets to forecast future price points.
This led me to believe that our perception of time is flawed. Like looking at a chart at the wrong scale we look at time at the wrong scale based on our perception. I now believe that everything that has, is, or will happen is happening at the same time, and it's only our perception of time that flows. The more I delved into the subject the more I seemed to understand the nature of the universe and it felt like my brain was expanding. Applying the same logic to the scale of size I also realised that we are limited in our understanding of the physical world by our perception of size. Changing the scale of time could reduce all time to a single moment and changing the scale we represent size could reduce our perception of ourselves being separate from the world around us too; if you reduce the physical scale then the space between us and the world around us also disappears into a single point. The conclusions I began to come to suggested to me that we are all one entity.
Around this time, I began to have profound experiences. The most intense of which was while meditating, when I opened my eyes and found myself being bathed in light. I could see a stream of light shinging down on me and filling me with love and an ecstatic feeling of emotion. I can't really describe how wonderful it felt. I'm not religious but if I was I guess I would say I saw the light and was touched by God.
I came to the realisation that I, as a separate entity from the rest of the universe, do not exist. I am the floor beneath me and the laptop I'm typing on just as much as I am the 42 year old body typing it. I am you, I am the wind and I'm the distant stars. It's all me. I am God in the same way a stone on the ground is God. I'm you. You're me.
some Watts quotes that resonated, and I'll state again that I found Watts as a way to understand my experience so my thinking wasn't influenced beforehand:“You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.”
“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through ourears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnessesthrough which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of itsmagnificence.”
“Jesus Christ knew he was God. So wake up and find out eventually whoyou really are. In our culture, of course, they’ll say you’re crazy andyou’re blasphemous, and they’ll either put you in jail or in a nut house(which is pretty much the same thing). However if you wake up in Indiaand tell your friends and relations, ‘My goodness, I’ve just discoveredthat I’m God,’ they’ll laugh and say, ‘Oh, congratulations, at last youfound out.”
“We do not "come into" this world; we come out of it, as leavesfrom a tree. As the ocean "waves," the universe "peoples." Everyindividual is an expression of the whole realm of nature, a uniqueaction of the total universe.”
“Every individual is a unique manifestation of the Whole, as every branch is a particular outreaching of the tree.”
“But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, farforest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’reconnected with everything.”
"The real you is not a puppet which life pushes around; the real, deep down you is the whole universe."
I understand people being skeptical. But I experienced it and it changed my life. I can sometimes calm my inner voice and get some of that initial feeling back and feel the love and acceptance I felt again in those moments but only to a fraction of what it was.
I don't now and didn't really before mediate that much. Sometimes I do. But one method is to start by watching your breathing. This highlights how the automatic functions of the body like breathing happen independently of conscious thought. So the body is not you. Then focus on your thoughts. Soon you'll find by watching and observing your thoughts that they are not you either. The real you is hidden below that and is the energy of the universe itself. But through the ego we hold on so tightly to our physical form. But it's all really an illusion. You are the Godhead experiencing the universe for fun
"The Godhead is never an object of its own knowledge. Just as a knife doesn't cut itself, fire doesn't burn itself, light doesn't illuminate itself. It's always an endless mystery to itself."
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